The Snow Mangler 5000

I didn't think it was possible to love a machine this much but after the past few days of relentless snow, I can safely say that I love my snowblower.

The other night, I went to bed at 1am. It had been snowing earlier in the day and we received 5 inches or so. I got home from work to the pleasant surprise that my neighbor had already done most of the work for both of our houses with his little snowblower. So, at 1am, everything was cleared of snow( cars, driveway, sidewalks, etc).  I went to bed thinking, maybe the worst of it has passed. WRONG!!!

By 5:30 that morning when I woke up, there was 10 more inches on the ground. It was as if God tired of sprinkling his little flakes and grabbed a cosmic ice cream scoop and dumped it all at once.

When, we finally dug out, and after fixing the loose belts on my Toro Snow Mangler 5000, I realized that I was never more in love with that thing than I was right then.

Sewer Infantry Slang: Monkeychuck

Monkeychuck (n):catastrophe, fiasco or misadventure of potentially epic and tragic scope that is foreseeable by nearly everyone involved except the Cobnocker(s) who dreamt it up, usually The Powers That Be.

Etymology: Believed to derive from the Stormsea Republic's Second Expedition to The Monsoon Kingdoms, specifically Lord General Arcturus' foray into the interior of the Big Island near the mouth of the Con Dao river.  Arcturus took an entire Expedtionary Legion, woefully under equipped and unprepared, into the rainforest to "see what's back there". After losing forty percent of his force to disease, malnutrition and constant raids by the baboon worshipping natives, Arcturus was forced to turn back. But not until after he had named a small mountain range after himself. On his return to Darkstar, then the capital, he was of course decorated with medals and other honors and later, elected to the Senate.

Survivors of the ill fated campaign told stories of the various species of monkeys and apes that infested the rainforest and continuously deficated in tents and bit soldiers while they ate. At some point, the soldiers invented a game that consisted of chucking two male monkeys into a pit and betting on the outcome of their combat.

The Second Wave

Not getting much writing done the past few days. The Ball and Chain, as well as one of my beloved spawn, are in the throes of yet another wave of the Stomach Bug From Hades. Three weeks ago, a (most likely different virus altogether) ripped through our humble homestead with an average duration of 4 days and leaving a net weight loss for our family in a double digit number that raises the old eyebrows. We did have a brief respite, filled with the warmth of sinusitis and high fevers, but we are hunkering down for the second wave of effluvia, Gatorade and Clorox Wipes.

I am beginning to loathe Stomach Bugs as much as I do those of the Socialist/Communist persuasion.

Best Commercial EVAH!

Best Commercial Ever!

"Stop LOLing everything!"

Sewer Infantry Slang: Cobnocker

Cobnocker (n): the crossbreed of an idiot and an asshole who somehow manages to avoid being saddled with both parents' good qualities.

GFWG Meeting

Had a writer's group meeting tonight. I turned in the first chapter of my Atoms & Arcana Epic at the last session. The group isn't as oriented toward the fantasy genre as I am, and so I was hesitant to submit my story.

But, it was surprisingly well received and the criticism was not only constructive but helped me solve an issue with the story that I had been having. I turned in Chapter 2 at the end of the session.

 So, that went pretty darn well.

Progress! The good kind too, not the political kind!

Managed to write three whole chapters today in my Atoms & Arcana Epic. Sweetness! Overall a good day, writing wise.

I hear some people are watching a game or something today? Maybe I should turn on the tube and see what all the brouhaha is about. After all, mia madre just texted me to tell me she put some money in a  football pool at her place of work in my name. And somehow, I have already won 50 simoleans.

As my grandfather would have said, "That's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!"